just wanted

.. To kill the old blog entry xD

So ya, what I've been up to latel? not really naything much.. This wednesday I hang out with some friends and had fun stalking a photoshoot and playing wih water, even though my pants got really wet ^^;
I bought a blond wig from Emi and later bought a bracelet Im gonna use the pearls from for a bracelet to a cosplay that the blonde wig is also for.

Im gonna cosplay Femris

This guy.. He is owned by Nyrietta on deviantArt.com TWT 

His real name is Fenris, but its quite a long joke about hm plying truth or dare where he got dared into wearing one of his young mistress's dresses ^^;

Im pretty much looking forward to this cosplay even though Im gonna show super much legs >///<"

//

Late nights fear

..or early mornings nightmare..

Its as you take it I guess...
Just wanted to rant abit about my situation right now: Its 4 am, I ate chips before i brushed my teeth, and now i an feel i have some chips-ew-ew something stuck in one of my teeth, which also is bleeding in my try of getting the stuff away >< M nail aint long enough to perk it away, and theres no toothsticks in the house ><... which now have led to me being in halfway panic because of it ><..
Yesterday I also took to my parents apartment which led me to have to give nearl 400 danish kroner for both busticket and trainticket ><.. So xpensive, usualy it osts nearly 200 kr.. So ya.. m not gonna do very much this month, my wallet wont allow that. I've already lent 6000 kr from my mother cause else i wouldnt have any electricity now TT_TT We need to figure out how to pay her back.. If I was good enough at drawing i would do commissons, but rly lets realize it: i will never be good at drawing, and people wouldnt pay anythng for it.. So lets face it: I probably wont be able to go to Genkicon this year, which I else had looked forward to because its at my brthday AND I turn 22 years T3T Such an oldfart.

I've also become a tutor in a group rp on dA named Hiems Mansion.. ( the group: http://hiems-mansion.deviantart.com )  I guess I spent too much time being at dA? But I cant help it.. These guys really help me when my mood is terrible ^w^

Sems like fate really have hated me this week. * sigh *

Oh well I will try to get some sleep on the couch now.. My littlesister will come tomorrow too. Either m gonna be pissed off of her or i wil just ignore her... lol.. thats how me and my sister is together.. but sometimes we go to the cinema to look at insane and scary movies.. its something we have together.. The scarier the better 8D We both really enoy the asian horror movies TwT

And now I feel like writing a story.. I should try to focus on the book I will write and publish.. But more about that in an other entry else this will be too long ^^;

// Yokume

A small new update

And I'm back ^^,

Right now Im back in my own, and very cold, apartment, drinking some christmas tea while watching television. Im beng horrible lonely and feel like I can cry any time. I wish I had something I could sew on, but I dont. Im not looking forward to chekng my mailbox tomorrow at al since Ive been away in like 5-6 weeks O_O" But Ive had a great time in Copenhagen. I eally wanna save up money enough to be able to get a new apartment next year, closer to Copenhagen and my dear beloved friends... But I also need a new sewingmachine, iron and ironboard __ __" Mostly a nw sewing mahine, Hopefully I will buy one next month so I can start on making my costumes for Genki-con in the start of August.
I have already bought a pair of lenses for the one of the cosplays: Sugata from Star Driver! 8D

I have the fabric for the vest, and I already have the shirt + think I know where to get the shoes. So actually its only the minor details I need now.. Like pants and a wig ( <-which I also have found a perfect example of I hope to by as soon as I have activated and gotten my new bankcard with my paypal. )
I will upload some pictures of the W.I.P of the vest when I have found the right thread for it.. and made a new and better boob-killing 'strammer' ^^;

OBS: If you want news on the rat-stuff I mostly have been writing about it at my other livejounal blog: http://hyachiku.livejournal.com/

// Yokume

Day of celebration

Hiyooo

Long time no talk.. I know my last blogentry was pretty emo-ish but I really felt down at that time, luckily my mood is changing to the better now. All thanks to all the friends there have been around me lately. <33
Today ( May 1st 2011 ) It is a year since I moved to Zealand, the island in Denmark I really love and have found facinating since the first time I visited it at the age of 11 or so ^^,
So to celebrate it I took the offer the s-trains have each 1st sunday in a new month; free s-trains. So a bit sleepy but yet happy, I took the bus to the trainstation where my s-train were 10 minutes late >>', so when it actually came it was super stuffed and it was only by pure luck I got a seat to sit on. In Copenhagen I changed to an other S-train to Hillerød, cause I really wanted to visit a castle and I knew Hillerød have a very beautiful castle called Frederiksborg Castle. It is said to be one of the most beautiful castles in the northern Europe, which I really kinda believe, cause It really took my breath when I saw the first view of it. lying there being all romantic in a lake. I had charged my battery for my camer and emptied the memorycard so I could take as many pictures of possible, which I also did. All in all I spent around 5-6 hours just in the museum part of the castle. I also were out in the huge and very nice baroque garden, which is an copy of one the King Christian the VI I think it was, made on the other side of the lake, so people could see it almost every time they were looking out of the windows ( Whcih all had a very nice view, either to the garden or to the courtyard with its amasing springwater ( I also learned that one of the kings that lived there had a springwater in his room x'D ) All in all it was so very amusing, and the weather really were on my side. I would really love to make a photoshoot there once..
Maybe an Anastasia photoshoot when I am done with the dress?

I got filled my memory card with pictures I will upload here http://hyachiku.deviantart.com/ and on this blog or my livejournal ^^,

On the way home it began to rain, and a single lightning  pierced the sky what I saw.. It also hailed.. Pretty weird and very suddenly cold and windy weather >>'. But in the train there were ok space, just untill we came to Østerport station, where we ended up being so crammed that I felt like a canned fish. It didnt make it very much better in the train to Albertslund, where there, if possible, were so many people that I was scared that some might fall out when the doors opened. I was forced to stand up, in a room between 4 doors, with 4 prams, and a bike... 7 children and 19 adults, myself included ( Yes I counted! ). We were so stucked up that I had trouble to keep myself calm as I nearly got a panic/fear-attack ><' But I survived... Luckily.. Though one of the others stared evil at me shaking her head and poiting at me as if I were a kid who did something wrong >>'

Just cheked my mail and see I got accepted on being one of the many cosplayers trying to be a part of the 'CosplayIdols' Lol not that I feel like a idol or awesome. Actually the only reason why I sent an entry was cause I was bored and I thought it might be fun to try out.. :/ Well. Im really surprised how many there already are who have voted ( last I cheked 45 in only 5 hours! Ö ) But ya..I can always use a vote more so please click on the photo/link/utton-thingy down there, and vote for me, it will make me happy as if I win I will get a chance for spending a lot of money on cosplay without thinking about the money for food and trains and such. What I've undertood at least.. lol


Yokume as Undertaker
Join Otaku House Cosplay Idol

// Yokume

Nerves and ruins

Warning: This is pretty much a ranting entry-thing! So if you dont like to read rant and that kind of stuff I recommend you to stop reading right now.!



Lately my life have been feeling pretty much worthless.. I have been taking care of a friends apartment and her cats while she have beenon a trip to Australia. I had thought that I got money this month but no. So I have lived on one meal each day the last 20 days.. All have been pasta that I was permitted by my friend to eat while she was away * sigh *
Not enough that I havent any money, the en of last month I got a warning by my out-renter, my rent have gotten higher it seems but I dont know how much and I cant contact my out-renter, + I havent been able to pay the rent for this month so Im so friggin nervous that when I get back to my apartment that I will have gotten a not saying that I have been kicked out >_<
My father have serveral times called me, saying how disappointed he is in me. I still dont know anything about what I will with my future, and tomorrow ( in 11 hours ) I will be at aforced meeting with my case-worker, and Im so scared and nervous about it, that I havent been able to eat anything since I got her call this monday. I have tried serveral times to eat something but no matter how small it is, im ending up in vomitting it up again ><.
I feel disgusting and last week I was in the middle of a drama 2 days before I had been backstapped by two different people about two different things, it might end up me not being able t trust anything. Not the commune, not my friends...

Im wandering around in this world with no goal in my life. being a gum-ball/jumping-ball between the kommune-people. I look around at people around me all more or less in education or know what they want with their life, but I have no idea, and the kommune keep being like " youre not good for education or work, but we will try you out anyway " and it has been like that the last 4 years. Fuck my life.
Im not afraid to admit that I have been thinking about suicide the last week, only think keeping me from doing so was my friends cats and her apartment, the feeling that I was inresponcible  for not taking care of the cats or apartment and instead being a dead body somewhere in her apartment, or near the little lake... People may call me emo or dramaqueen when they read this, but I dont care. I feel like shit. Some trash there shouldnt be here.
And about te meeting tomorrow: of course its in a 'holyday' so I only have money till getting to the meeting, not to get home again or anywhere.. wtf am I gonna do. I know Im gonna get a breakdown anytime now.. So scared and nervous.. just wanna say goodbye to my life. The kommune will never ever learn about me, they will probably just call me lazy, and if I tell about my weightloss I have had lately they will prolly just send me on a place for people with eating disorders...


I want to actually know what I want with my life!! >_<
For the ones who have actually been reading all this crap: congratulation, now youre at the end of one of my emorants and fustrationrants... FML

// Yokume

Late nights

Another late night 8'D

Or yeah.. xD Right now I'm sitting on Risa ( http://pissynovelist.blogspot.com/ ) apartment, taking care of both her apartment and her cute cats. They have both just had their maturation >>, so annoying to listen to, but at least they are beginning to be over it now. ^w^
I kinda wish I had taken something to sew on with me, but then again, i felt i had plently of bagage as it was already when i arrived ^^;
Sadly I havent gotten any money this month, so Im kinda screwd ´, have to call/mail my caseworker tomorrow so i can get a day we can get a meeting, though I also have to ask my parents if they by any chance can elp me pay my bills and rent this month and so that I can get into the meeting as it is a good 1 hour away from where I am right now * sigh * God sometimes I jsut hate my country.

Speaking about countries; I might be going to live in England for 6 months next year. I am planning it together with my wonderfull friend Colleen-Jane ( called CJ ) I have gotten permisson to live in her house together with her while it is. So if its gonna be something I'm gonna begin to search for jobs in England, as they 1. have cheaper things then Denmark, 2. get better paid ( or thats what im gonna say and mean >>' ) and they have a wonderful and intersting culture.. And WSPA where you can help and get aducated and such. I t could be so awesome if I by any chance could work there or get educated there *W*

Oh well. Enough jabbering from here..
Tomorrow at some time, Shinji ( http://xxrikuinthedarkxx.blogspot.com/ ) will be coming around, and will sew with me.. Though.. Well.. I dont ahve any fabric, so its probably just gonna be her sewing the stuff while I will be watching her awesome skills ^w^

//Yokume over and out <3

Cat sitter

So..

From wednesday I am gonna be a cat-sitter for Risas ( http://pissynovelist.blogspot.com/ ) lovely 2 cats while she is in Australia for around 20 days.
I'm kinda looking forward to it as I am closer to a lot of lovely persons here ( I'm gonna cat-sit them in her apartment ). and it is also a very nice thing to be over here, being a cat-sitter, it will take my thoughts more or less away from my waiting on my super adorable and over pretty pet rats. They did by the way turn 2 weeks today. Some pictures of the pretty ones:

Basil

Sumac

I'm so looking forward to getting these two pretty ones with me home in around 3 weeks 8D