..or early mornings nightmare..
Its as you take it I guess...
Just wanted to rant abit about my situation right now: Its 4 am, I ate chips before i brushed my teeth, and now i an feel i have some chips-ew-ew something stuck in one of my teeth, which also is bleeding in my try of getting the stuff away >< M nail aint long enough to perk it away, and theres no toothsticks in the house ><... which now have led to me being in halfway panic because of it ><..
Yesterday I also took to my parents apartment which led me to have to give nearl 400 danish kroner for both busticket and trainticket ><.. So xpensive, usualy it osts nearly 200 kr.. So ya.. m not gonna do very much this month, my wallet wont allow that. I've already lent 6000 kr from my mother cause else i wouldnt have any electricity now TT_TT We need to figure out how to pay her back.. If I was good enough at drawing i would do commissons, but rly lets realize it: i will never be good at drawing, and people wouldnt pay anythng for it.. So lets face it: I probably wont be able to go to Genkicon this year, which I else had looked forward to because its at my brthday AND I turn 22 years T3T Such an oldfart.
I've also become a tutor in a group rp on dA named Hiems Mansion.. ( the group: http://hiems-mansion.deviantart.com ) I guess I spent too much time being at dA? But I cant help it.. These guys really help me when my mood is terrible ^w^
Sems like fate really have hated me this week. * sigh *
Oh well I will try to get some sleep on the couch now.. My littlesister will come tomorrow too. Either m gonna be pissed off of her or i wil just ignore her... lol.. thats how me and my sister is together.. but sometimes we go to the cinema to look at insane and scary movies.. its something we have together.. The scarier the better 8D We both really enoy the asian horror movies TwT
And now I feel like writing a story.. I should try to focus on the book I will write and publish.. But more about that in an other entry else this will be too long ^^;
// Yokume
Whatever is in my head...
It is dark outside, thet fthou clock on my computer shows 01.44 AM.
Maybe it would be the best to just go to bed now, but I dont feel tired. Being witout a education or a job ( Because I've been told my personality keeps me away from getting any, -_-' )
Without friends around me, the days soon begins to go their own way.
Sitting day in and day out, writing and playing on the computer.. Nothing else to do. Watching some anime, reading some manga online and updating stuff at DeviantArt.
I would love to work on some cosplays, but I cant afford it, no..
I own people money, and that is what is always on my mind, when looking at clothes, shoes, when buying food, even when waking up it is in my depressive mind.
Sory for making my first blog sound so emo, but nights and days can get long and lonely, without any else reason to live then turning on the computer. I have also been thinking, more than once: no.. Not today.. The computer hates you thats why you try to seek comfort at it. Its just an empty machine, yet it have taken so much of my life.
But I've started to read again. Thick, huge books which actually says me something. I read to not get too mindblown by the computer.
I'm also sitting with the feeling that I want to take a run, but its hard when your foot still are hurting and aint healed after a meeting with a broken needle, which resulted in a visit to the nearest hospital. I cant wait till its healed. Then I can run again, run and feel that I am for use, just a litle. For use for my own body as i can feel the muscles and fat under my skin, feel the cold nightwind againt my sweating face.
It may sound disgusting for the reader, but for me it is something I enjoy: To pull myself out in sports, to feel alive and to feel that I am doing somthing good for myself and my body.
Now the screen shows 2.00 AM. I will now end this journal/blog... thing.. Take a feetbath, turn of the computer and then go to bed.
Good night
// Hyachiku