Yeah as the title describes it; my day haven't been the best ><"
It started early morning, getting up at 7.30AM, where we began to get guests wishing my dad happy birthday, it was fine though I was tired. I went for the washing-area near their house with some laundry, only to find out the drier I needed was used by an other so I had to go back.
Back at the old ones' apartment I began to look for something to eat, without any further luck, and since I hadn't been eating the night before I was pretty hungry, so I went to slumber at the couch to there wasn't any guests back.
When the guests finally was gone there was 2 hours left unto the party started, at this time my mother stressed so much that she got an epilepsy-'attack', luckily it was a quick one, so I went out buying the rest of the stuff we needed for the party with my youngest big brother.
When coming back again my mother again was stressed out, but got told into taking a shower while my father got in his clothes.
After that they packed the stuff they needed and began to wait for my grandmother and her boyfriend.
They came just as I had gotten some clothes on and was shaving my legs ( orz >> )
After that my sister had to go to midtown to buy something for christmas-presents and for her outfit for the birthday, while I had to go in the same clothes as I had worn the day before because the clothes-drier broke down when it finally got free, so right now the clothes are stuck in the drier =_="
My parents and brother took off to the birthday-party-place with my grandmother and her boyfriend while I stayed back and waited for my littlesister while fixing makeup and hair.. Unluckily enough I ended up getting some got2be glued in my left eye so I had to use ½ hour on cleansing the eye with water and lens-water, eye still burning a little but not that bad. After that my sister came back and 'hurried' in her clothes and makeup, fixing her curly hair.
While I got a lot of calls from my parents about stuff they had forgotten. __ __"
After that we could finally go to the party-place where I had to sit and wait and smile and look cute for nearly ½ hour because people wanted pictures of the family, while others was eating.. At this time it was nearly 15.00PM, so I finally got permitted to go down for some stuff for the fish that was bought especially for me earlier today.
I was first coming back, and the first thing that happens is that my grandfathers girlfriend/fiance, comes and stops me in making my food demanding me to come to the table where they sit to talk with my granddad, while my belly was hurting from need of food. ( oh yeah.. I have never liked that woman because she always thinks she is better than anyone else, and pick down on my family, especially my sister and me. She is always making trouble )
Finally I could get something to eat so I hurried to eat 4 pieces of ryebread with my fish on it before anyone more could ask me to do something.
Later on, around 17.30PM, the woman once again came up, this time to make a speak which was ok.. Just unto she started with saying that my parents were good enough but that me and my sister was disrespectful, never came to visit them and thought that we were cool but that we wasn't and would never be it if we kept on living like we did, and doing what we do.
That annoyed me. Luckily my sister wasn't there to hear the speech since she had gotten a important call telling her about an exam she had to go to tomorrow, so she had to go a few minutes later.
After that my 'bonus'-grandmother came back to me as I was sitting in a corner, suddenly telling me about how stupid and annoying I was how small a lowlife I was, and that I had to pull myself together. Keep on talking shit like that to me the last drop came in my cup of patience and led me to getting angry.. Not a little irritated angry but very VERY angry.
I began to talk back, yelling at her and telling her how much I dislike her. She began to lay her arms around me and telling me how sorry she felt for me, as if I had a brain-disease or something like that. I would seriously have kicked her if it wasn't because of my youngest big brother that came just in time and made an escaping-path for me, I would have.. I know that it is bad karma to kick old people, but she annoys me... Really really much!
I escaped out in the wardrobe where my younger big brother came and place his arms around me, telling me to calm down, that he did completely understood why I got so pissed off and that he also was pissed off, but that we didn't have anything to do since it would ruin our fathers 60-years birthday.
I was so mad that I was crying and shivering like hell. We probably stood like this for half an hour while some other people came by standing in a half-circle around me which made me a little frightened which my brother prolly could feel, so he told them to get away.
After calming down we went back to the party, but had to go back again since my 'bonus'-grandmother came back beginning to talk down on me.. again,, which once again pissed me off so I was shivering, so my brother and I went back to the wardrobe.
After that the party was totally ruined for me, so I was just sitting near my brother constantly, unto I was sure that my grandparents were gone again.
Im happy that this day is over.. Though my dad is feeling like shit, but that is probably because of all the different kind of alcohol he have been drinking today ^^;
Ranting and raeging is hereby over ^^; Just had to led it out and explain it a little to the people which I was texting on my cellphone under and after the 'attack'.
//Hyachiku
Whatever is in my head...
It is dark outside, thet fthou clock on my computer shows 01.44 AM.
Maybe it would be the best to just go to bed now, but I dont feel tired. Being witout a education or a job ( Because I've been told my personality keeps me away from getting any, -_-' )
Without friends around me, the days soon begins to go their own way.
Sitting day in and day out, writing and playing on the computer.. Nothing else to do. Watching some anime, reading some manga online and updating stuff at DeviantArt.
I would love to work on some cosplays, but I cant afford it, no..
I own people money, and that is what is always on my mind, when looking at clothes, shoes, when buying food, even when waking up it is in my depressive mind.
Sory for making my first blog sound so emo, but nights and days can get long and lonely, without any else reason to live then turning on the computer. I have also been thinking, more than once: no.. Not today.. The computer hates you thats why you try to seek comfort at it. Its just an empty machine, yet it have taken so much of my life.
But I've started to read again. Thick, huge books which actually says me something. I read to not get too mindblown by the computer.
I'm also sitting with the feeling that I want to take a run, but its hard when your foot still are hurting and aint healed after a meeting with a broken needle, which resulted in a visit to the nearest hospital. I cant wait till its healed. Then I can run again, run and feel that I am for use, just a litle. For use for my own body as i can feel the muscles and fat under my skin, feel the cold nightwind againt my sweating face.
It may sound disgusting for the reader, but for me it is something I enjoy: To pull myself out in sports, to feel alive and to feel that I am doing somthing good for myself and my body.
Now the screen shows 2.00 AM. I will now end this journal/blog... thing.. Take a feetbath, turn of the computer and then go to bed.
Good night
// Hyachiku