4:17 PM

just wanted

.. To kill the old blog entry xD

So ya, what I've been up to latel? not really naything much.. This wednesday I hang out with some friends and had fun stalking a photoshoot and playing wih water, even though my pants got really wet ^^;
I bought a blond wig from Emi and later bought a bracelet Im gonna use the pearls from for a bracelet to a cosplay that the blonde wig is also for.

Im gonna cosplay Femris

This guy.. He is owned by Nyrietta on deviantArt.com TWT 
His real name is Fenris, but its quite a long joke about hm plying truth or dare where he got dared into wearing one of his young mistress's dresses ^^;

Im pretty much looking forward to this cosplay even though Im gonna show super much legs >///<"

//

4:17 AM

Late nights fear

..or early mornings nightmare..

Its as you take it I guess...
Just wanted to rant abit about my situation right now: Its 4 am, I ate chips before i brushed my teeth, and now i an feel i have some chips-ew-ew something stuck in one of my teeth, which also is bleeding in my try of getting the stuff away >< M nail aint long enough to perk it away, and theres no toothsticks in the house ><... which now have led to me being in halfway panic because of it ><..
Yesterday I also took to my parents apartment which led me to have to give nearl 400 danish kroner for both busticket and trainticket ><.. So xpensive, usualy it osts nearly 200 kr.. So ya.. m not gonna do very much this month, my wallet wont allow that. I've already lent 6000 kr from my mother cause else i wouldnt have any electricity now TT_TT We need to figure out how to pay her back.. If I was good enough at drawing i would do commissons, but rly lets realize it: i will never be good at drawing, and people wouldnt pay anythng for it.. So lets face it: I probably wont be able to go to Genkicon this year, which I else had looked forward to because its at my brthday AND I turn 22 years T3T Such an oldfart.

I've also become a tutor in a group rp on dA named Hiems Mansion.. ( the group: http://hiems-mansion.deviantart.com )  I guess I spent too much time being at dA? But I cant help it.. These guys really help me when my mood is terrible ^w^

Sems like fate really have hated me this week. * sigh *

Oh well I will try to get some sleep on the couch now.. My littlesister will come tomorrow too. Either m gonna be pissed off of her or i wil just ignore her... lol.. thats how me and my sister is together.. but sometimes we go to the cinema to look at insane and scary movies.. its something we have together.. The scarier the better 8D We both really enoy the asian horror movies TwT

And now I feel like writing a story.. I should try to focus on the book I will write and publish.. But more about that in an other entry else this will be too long ^^;

// Yokume

2:25 AM

A small new update

And I'm back ^^,

Right now Im back in my own, and very cold, apartment, drinking some christmas tea while watching television. Im beng horrible lonely and feel like I can cry any time. I wish I had something I could sew on, but I dont. Im not looking forward to chekng my mailbox tomorrow at al since Ive been away in like 5-6 weeks O_O" But Ive had a great time in Copenhagen. I eally wanna save up money enough to be able to get a new apartment next year, closer to Copenhagen and my dear beloved friends... But I also need a new sewingmachine, iron and ironboard __ __" Mostly a nw sewing mahine, Hopefully I will buy one next month so I can start on making my costumes for Genki-con in the start of August.
I have already bought a pair of lenses for the one of the cosplays: Sugata from Star Driver! 8D


I have the fabric for the vest, and I already have the shirt + think I know where to get the shoes. So actually its only the minor details I need now.. Like pants and a wig ( <-which I also have found a perfect example of I hope to by as soon as I have activated and gotten my new bankcard with my paypal. )
I will upload some pictures of the W.I.P of the vest when I have found the right thread for it.. and made a new and better boob-killing 'strammer' ^^;

OBS: If you want news on the rat-stuff I mostly have been writing about it at my other livejounal blog: http://hyachiku.livejournal.com/

// Yokume

10:34 PM

Day of celebration

Hiyooo

Long time no talk.. I know my last blogentry was pretty emo-ish but I really felt down at that time, luckily my mood is changing to the better now. All thanks to all the friends there have been around me lately. <33
Today ( May 1st 2011 ) It is a year since I moved to Zealand, the island in Denmark I really love and have found facinating since the first time I visited it at the age of 11 or so ^^,
So to celebrate it I took the offer the s-trains have each 1st sunday in a new month; free s-trains. So a bit sleepy but yet happy, I took the bus to the trainstation where my s-train were 10 minutes late >>', so when it actually came it was super stuffed and it was only by pure luck I got a seat to sit on. In Copenhagen I changed to an other S-train to Hillerød, cause I really wanted to visit a castle and I knew Hillerød have a very beautiful castle called Frederiksborg Castle. It is said to be one of the most beautiful castles in the northern Europe, which I really kinda believe, cause It really took my breath when I saw the first view of it. lying there being all romantic in a lake. I had charged my battery for my camer and emptied the memorycard so I could take as many pictures of possible, which I also did. All in all I spent around 5-6 hours just in the museum part of the castle. I also were out in the huge and very nice baroque garden, which is an copy of one the King Christian the VI I think it was, made on the other side of the lake, so people could see it almost every time they were looking out of the windows ( Whcih all had a very nice view, either to the garden or to the courtyard with its amasing springwater ( I also learned that one of the kings that lived there had a springwater in his room x'D ) All in all it was so very amusing, and the weather really were on my side. I would really love to make a photoshoot there once..
Maybe an Anastasia photoshoot when I am done with the dress?

I got filled my memory card with pictures I will upload here http://hyachiku.deviantart.com/ and on this blog or my livejournal ^^,

On the way home it began to rain, and a single lightning  pierced the sky what I saw.. It also hailed.. Pretty weird and very suddenly cold and windy weather >>'. But in the train there were ok space, just untill we came to Østerport station, where we ended up being so crammed that I felt like a canned fish. It didnt make it very much better in the train to Albertslund, where there, if possible, were so many people that I was scared that some might fall out when the doors opened. I was forced to stand up, in a room between 4 doors, with 4 prams, and a bike... 7 children and 19 adults, myself included ( Yes I counted! ). We were so stucked up that I had trouble to keep myself calm as I nearly got a panic/fear-attack ><' But I survived... Luckily.. Though one of the others stared evil at me shaking her head and poiting at me as if I were a kid who did something wrong >>'

Just cheked my mail and see I got accepted on being one of the many cosplayers trying to be a part of the 'CosplayIdols' Lol not that I feel like a idol or awesome. Actually the only reason why I sent an entry was cause I was bored and I thought it might be fun to try out.. :/ Well. Im really surprised how many there already are who have voted ( last I cheked 45 in only 5 hours! Ö ) But ya..I can always use a vote more so please click on the photo/link/utton-thingy down there, and vote for me, it will make me happy as if I win I will get a chance for spending a lot of money on cosplay without thinking about the money for food and trains and such. What I've undertood at least.. lol


Cosplay idolYokume as Undertaker
Join Otaku House Cosplay Idol


// Yokume

1:09 AM

Nerves and ruins

Warning: This is pretty much a ranting entry-thing! So if you dont like to read rant and that kind of stuff I recommend you to stop reading right now.!



Lately my life have been feeling pretty much worthless.. I have been taking care of a friends apartment and her cats while she have beenon a trip to Australia. I had thought that I got money this month but no. So I have lived on one meal each day the last 20 days.. All have been pasta that I was permitted by my friend to eat while she was away * sigh *
Not enough that I havent any money, the en of last month I got a warning by my out-renter, my rent have gotten higher it seems but I dont know how much and I cant contact my out-renter, + I havent been able to pay the rent for this month so Im so friggin nervous that when I get back to my apartment that I will have gotten a not saying that I have been kicked out >_<
My father have serveral times called me, saying how disappointed he is in me. I still dont know anything about what I will with my future, and tomorrow ( in 11 hours ) I will be at aforced meeting with my case-worker, and Im so scared and nervous about it, that I havent been able to eat anything since I got her call this monday. I have tried serveral times to eat something but no matter how small it is, im ending up in vomitting it up again ><.
I feel disgusting and last week I was in the middle of a drama 2 days before I had been backstapped by two different people about two different things, it might end up me not being able t trust anything. Not the commune, not my friends...

Im wandering around in this world with no goal in my life. being a gum-ball/jumping-ball between the kommune-people. I look around at people around me all more or less in education or know what they want with their life, but I have no idea, and the kommune keep being like " youre not good for education or work, but we will try you out anyway " and it has been like that the last 4 years. Fuck my life.
Im not afraid to admit that I have been thinking about suicide the last week, only think keeping me from doing so was my friends cats and her apartment, the feeling that I was inresponcible  for not taking care of the cats or apartment and instead being a dead body somewhere in her apartment, or near the little lake... People may call me emo or dramaqueen when they read this, but I dont care. I feel like shit. Some trash there shouldnt be here.
And about te meeting tomorrow: of course its in a 'holyday' so I only have money till getting to the meeting, not to get home again or anywhere.. wtf am I gonna do. I know Im gonna get a breakdown anytime now.. So scared and nervous.. just wanna say goodbye to my life. The kommune will never ever learn about me, they will probably just call me lazy, and if I tell about my weightloss I have had lately they will prolly just send me on a place for people with eating disorders...


I want to actually know what I want with my life!! >_<
For the ones who have actually been reading all this crap: congratulation, now youre at the end of one of my emorants and fustrationrants... FML

// Yokume

4:08 AM

Late nights

Another late night 8'D

Or yeah.. xD Right now I'm sitting on Risa ( http://pissynovelist.blogspot.com/ ) apartment, taking care of both her apartment and her cute cats. They have both just had their maturation >>, so annoying to listen to, but at least they are beginning to be over it now. ^w^
I kinda wish I had taken something to sew on with me, but then again, i felt i had plently of bagage as it was already when i arrived ^^;
Sadly I havent gotten any money this month, so Im kinda screwd ´, have to call/mail my caseworker tomorrow so i can get a day we can get a meeting, though I also have to ask my parents if they by any chance can elp me pay my bills and rent this month and so that I can get into the meeting as it is a good 1 hour away from where I am right now * sigh * God sometimes I jsut hate my country.

Speaking about countries; I might be going to live in England for 6 months next year. I am planning it together with my wonderfull friend Colleen-Jane ( called CJ ) I have gotten permisson to live in her house together with her while it is. So if its gonna be something I'm gonna begin to search for jobs in England, as they 1. have cheaper things then Denmark, 2. get better paid ( or thats what im gonna say and mean >>' ) and they have a wonderful and intersting culture.. And WSPA where you can help and get aducated and such. I t could be so awesome if I by any chance could work there or get educated there *W*

Oh well. Enough jabbering from here..
Tomorrow at some time, Shinji ( http://xxrikuinthedarkxx.blogspot.com/ ) will be coming around, and will sew with me.. Though.. Well.. I dont ahve any fabric, so its probably just gonna be her sewing the stuff while I will be watching her awesome skills ^w^

//Yokume over and out <3

6:49 PM

Cat sitter

So..

From wednesday I am gonna be a cat-sitter for Risas ( http://pissynovelist.blogspot.com/ ) lovely 2 cats while she is in Australia for around 20 days.
I'm kinda looking forward to it as I am closer to a lot of lovely persons here ( I'm gonna cat-sit them in her apartment ). and it is also a very nice thing to be over here, being a cat-sitter, it will take my thoughts more or less away from my waiting on my super adorable and over pretty pet rats. They did by the way turn 2 weeks today. Some pictures of the pretty ones:

Basil

Sumac

I'm so looking forward to getting these two pretty ones with me home in around 3 weeks 8D

1:39 AM

Random emo rant

Right now I feel so mean ;__;
I nearly forgot my parents dog outsite in the garden so it was standing out in the halffrozen weather for I dont know how long D:
I'm jsut happy it began to scratch on the window so I could remember it and let it in. Right now Im sitting with it on my lap, have covered it in a blanket so it can get warm again. I think it can feel that I am going home to my apartment tomorrow.
Not that I look forward to it, actually one of the only things I look forward to for the time being is that within 2 months I am getting pet rats TWT <3 Have kept it somewhat a secret for my friends untill last month, but I have been thinking of getting pet rats for quite some time. I have always loved the little fellas, they're like small version of a dog! you can have them in your pocket.. A pocket-dog ^w^

I look so much forward to it.. Though there are soo long time to the rat breeder where I am getting my first rats from, just first got the mother pregnant last week.. But still.. Pet rats! 8D
Besides form that little light spot in my life I also look forward to, hopefully being with Shinji the week after Okashiicon, that I sadly wont be at because I dont have the money ( or any new cosplays.. Im tbh tired of people calling me 'the best Undertaker ' since I feel like a very fail and chibilooking Undertaker, I hate the cosplay, it is uncomfortable, not to move around in, you cant see very much and the hat and wig is just like FFFFFFF--! )

Else the last 12 days have been somewhat unlucky, and somewhat depressing.. I have been visitn gmy parents for those days.. Both my parents are having a depression and my father told me that he seriously think he might die in this spring as he have been nearly only living on medication since November. He and my mother are going to the doctor every 14th day ( or.. in my mothers case it is every week as her depression if pretty big >>' ) I'm afraid my father is right as I have seen how he cant even walk 50 metres without getting pain in his leg and not being able to breathe normally. Heck he cant even take a bucket from the livingroom to the kitchen ( which actually are 1 and same room )
I'm worried about him.. Have been thinking of going to a church or just light a candle for him at home.. I dont see myself as christian, but I like to turn on a light and/or incense while thinking of the ones near me, trying to send them 'healing vibrates' so to say ^^; I know it sound silly, but I feel that its the best I can do when feeling like I do right now.


In the cosplay-way I feel like I am sitting in the same spot as I have been in for so long time. I want to sew but both my sewingmachines need to be repaired and I dont have so many money for fabric, wigs, shoes, contacts and such. -_-
God I wish I had a job or education so I could get more money, so I could pay off my depts and my bills and after that actually have money enough to make more than one meal a day.

// Yokume

2:12 AM

Late nights

Today ( or should I write yesterday, as it is 2.14 am as I am writing right now? oO" )
Anyway.. Today I was traveling to Risas apartment, unfortunately I was late for the bus so I stood outside and waited for the bus, only to figure out half an hour later that it was past 7 pm, which means the busses only drive once an hour >< But after the 1 hour waiting it all went smoothly and I am now sitting and having a cozy time together with Risa and Miku. Tomorrow I am gonna attend to Oni and Rii's borthday-party they are having together. I am looking forward to it, but a afraid its gonna be awkward as I havent been at any birthday-party since I was around 17 years old. ^^; But aside from that I hope it will be great fun together with friends, as I really love the few times I am together with my friends ( now more often that it have ever been, because I've gotten an apartment way clsoer to my friends than it was before ) I dont like the weather-forecast for this weekend; snowstorm the whole weekend. If that is true I will in worst case be stuck in the Copenhagen area .__." Away from all the rant and instead I wanna share a picture of my beloved jellyfish cellphone-strap I bought at Confusion, Göteborg 2011 ( Sweden ) Isnt it gorgeus? <3

// Yokume

2:39 AM

Random weekends

Yeah, this weekend was been totally devoted to relaxing ^^

I found some of my favourite tea and made a good litre of it that I drank trough the saturday, while geeking Jigoku Shoujo and Tengen Gurren Toppa Lagann.
My fave tea <3

I have also started on sewing Leos school uniform, as I have enough white left-over white fabric. Its a little of a challenge but I'm fresh to do it.
I have also fangirlet a lot over LeoXElliott and ElliotXLeo, while I found out that Elliot are 173 centimetres ( 1 cm taller than me ) and leo is 9 centimetres smaller.. How ironic is it that I am gonna cosplay a short dewd? xD Oh well *shrugs*

Oh and a bonus picture; My hair as it was this weekend, it just didnt want to sit straight on spot >>', It does look meesy, but it was like that even ater trying to comb it away, without luck.



Just a quick and rndom little update from me.

//Yokume

5:15 PM

Confusion 2011

Furh~

I really should try to write in this one some more often ^^;
A week ago I was at a convention in Göteborg, Sweden. The convention is a 'newborn' and are called 'confusion' which I really thinks fits it, since it was a big confusion to find our way in Göteborg ( I was together with Risa -> http://riku-risa.deviantart.com and Miku -> http://miirumiru.deviantart.com )

The GPS in our drivers car wanted us to drive at the railway-thing that the small train-things are in, and only the mini-trains and the busses may drive. so it was pretty @_@ ish
Finally we found our way down there, but unfortunately had Risa lost her Iphone. So while Risa and Miku ran out to try and find the Iphone, I stayed at the convention and kept an eye on the bags while getting a headace ( There was a band playing on stage only a few metres from the entrance ) While I was standing there I got my armband and talked with 3 different arrangers before I got my ticket to the sleeping area, as I didnt have any hotel to stay at.
Finally an hour later did Risa and Miku come, and we could hang out at the convention just doozing a little since we were tired after nearly 5 hours of driving ^^;
I wasnt cosplaying that day.

At saturday I was cosplaying as Undertaker, and got a fangirl who wouldnt leave me alone __ __" But I didnt complain, couldnt get myself to it, though it took hard on my HSP, and I had to look for relaxing place ( aka the museum area there was at the convention, where you had to be silent and respect the other visitors. ) So ya.. Everytime I felt that I was on my way breaking down I searched for the museum, and everytime I ended up in the same dark room, watching Ponyo with other visitors ( God I gotta cosplay Ponyos dad one day.. He's weird and awesome xDD )
At the night I was hanging out in the karaoke-room making a fool out of myself and getting a few new friends ^^;

Sunday was more relaxing, and we were all more or less groggy-ish and tired. Yet I still managed to cosplay as Undertaker in his Queen dress version. Though the dress still needs to get fixed a little, and to get a bewb-button, and arms people still regonized me and wanted pictures. ( Unfortunatley it was most at times where I was on my way to something people wanted pictures xD )
It was a funny cosplay, and quickly put'd together on my sewingmachine that just seems to hate me. I still havent seen any of the pictures that got taken, but I hope I soon will ^^
The time home went somewhat faster as we took a small ferry, and I did for once not get totally seasick though I usually do it even in small trips.


The things I got at the convention: A small and very cute jellyfish-strap to my cellphone, and a stack of Pandora Hearts artwork cards in a box. And even though I know I miss some of the cards I still love them very much.

I have also just started on a new cosplaying project, after been reading the latest Pandora Hearts chapter.
My newest project = a Leo Nightray cosplay!
I have loved him from I saw him for the first time, so I am really excited about how it will turn out, if I can pull him out fine or if I will fail miserably ^^;


Wall of text.. Hrn.. Ya.. I definetly should write here some more often.
So far

// Yokume

PS: I have started a new other blog for the more geek-ish site of me ^^; Here's the link: http://yotakuness.blogspot.com/ It will be for anime and manga review-ish stuff ^^;

1:32 AM

New year and stretch-marks

So, now we're in a new year; 2011! One year till the end of the world, if one should believe in that.

I celebrated christmas together with Risa and her family as my own family havent been celebrating christmas or years. I felt totaly spoiled trough those days ^^;
I got Risa's old computer ( as I knew I would get ) then I got a good warm shirt( hættetrøje), a necklace ( though I am not really the necklace-type of girl ) and last I got a book written by Risa's older sister with a personal message for me inside it 8DD

New years eve I spent together with the Godzilla's cosplay group, or rather some of them. It was fun though one of te got a migraine-attack so I was up with her trough the whole night and only got 3 hours of sleep .__.''
Mynew years resolutions is:

Loose some weight
Draw a drawing every day
Get out of my dept
Get better at cosplaying/sewing
Get a job
Live more healthy
..And start on one of the comic idea's I had had for some time. ^^;;

I've been sick all the way trough the first week in this year >>, but I'm better now.
I found a lot of new and large stretch-marks on my left leg ><
So I panicked a little and found some tips that should help on getting stretch-marks to be smaller and less red, more invisible-ish.

Those tips I wanna share with my readers, though I havent tried all of them yet:

1. Rinse your legs and the places where you have stretch marks with cold water, it gets the circulation going and get your stretch marks to appear less visible, not only that, your legs and ass will also get more firmly.
2. Coffee grounds, mixed with sunflower oil, and massage it into the thighs and buttocks and let it sit for a couple of minutes, then you dry off with cotton wool or soft paper towel..
3. Eat healthy. Food with lots of vitamin E and vitamin C
4. Keep the skin most with moisturizing cream.

I hope some other than me can use the tips. 8D

// Hyachiku